Every day we are exposed to a large number of stimuli; sensory information that we need to process. It can happen that the amount of stimuli becomes too much for us, causing us to become overstimulated. This does not have to be a problem, as long as we realize that we are becoming overstimulated and know how to deal with this. As babies we come into the world with a good resolution mechanism against overstimulation. As soon as it becomes too much for a baby, he starts crying. By crying he discharges himself and returns to a state of rest, provided the stimuli have disappeared.
Tears and cortisol
Every tear shed for an emotional reason (not crocodile tears or tears you cry while cutting onions) contains the hormone cortisol. Cortisol is the stress hormone; a hormone that ensures that we can handle stress well. It allows us to fight or flee. If we do not fight or flee and this hormone remains in too high a concentration in our body for too long, this will have adverse consequences for us. It is therefore important that the cortisol level in our body remains balanced. By crying when we are overstimulated, we ensure that our cortisol level drops and comes back into balance.
Imagine this like this: you have a very large container of cortisol. The level of this decreases and increases during the day under the influence of stimuli we receive. Some stimuli (such as a pleasant touch or quiet music) reduce the level, while other stimuli increase it. If we receive a lot of stimuli that increase the cortisol level (note: these can also be happy events with a great emotional charge), the barrel fills up and at the well-known drop it overflows; we cry. Crying lowers the cortisol level in the vessel (our body), allowing us to cope with more new stimuli. Of course, this only works if the stimuli that caused the vessel to overflow have now been reduced.
Some people say that crying doesn’t bring them relief. This can be explained as follows: if someone feels embarrassed when they cry, this will provide a new stimulus so that crying does not lead to discharge. On the one hand, the cortisol level decreases because the person is crying, but at the same time it increases because the person feels embarrassed. Crying to discharge only works if the crying person does not feel embarrassed because he is crying and if the number of stimuli has been sufficiently reduced.
From baby to adult
Babies cry many times a day. Logical when you consider that everything is still new to them. They regularly receive so many new stimuli that they become overstimulated; their cortisol tank overflows and they start to cry. Our response to this crying is often to try to make the crying stop. In this way, the baby cannot discharge itself sufficiently and a new cry will soon occur again, because the vessel has not been emptied sufficiently. It is better to comfort the baby by holding it on your lap and gently caressing it until the crying stops.
As mentioned, as adults, over the course of our lives we partially unlearn our natural way of dealing with overstimulation, namely crying. Boys are often told that tough guys don’t cry. Girls who often cry are babies and older children or adults are also often labeled by others as crybabies, a term that has a somewhat negative connotation.
How can you deal with overstimulation?
Overstimulation is seen by our body as a stress situation. When stressed, extra cortisol is produced with the aim of fighting or fleeing. By actually fighting or fleeing, the cortisol is used, causing its level to drop back to the correct value. However, a baby is incapable of fight or flight and has only one option to get rid of excess cortisol: crying.
An adult has more choice to use the cortisol in his body: shouting, hitting something, going for a run or laughing. But a wonderful cry can also provide relief for adults, preferably in the arms of someone you like and who completely accepts the cry.
