Drinking alcohol is socially accepted in the Netherlands. Alcohol is consumed on many occasions. Giving alcohol as a gift is also very normal, on an occasion such as a birthday or farewell. Excessive alcohol use and addictive behavior leads to many problems in a number of areas of life. Problems in the areas of social relationships, one’s own health, work, money and participation in traffic. The relationship with a partner often comes under pressure due to alcohol abuse.
Alcohol use and alcohol abuse
Alcohol consumption, some figures
- 80% of adults in the Netherlands drink alcohol.
- One in eight alcohol users is a so-called “heavy drinker”, namely drinking 6 or more drinks one or more times a week for men or 4 or more drinks for women.
- The number of people who abuse alcohol consists of a group of approximately 395,000 people.
- An estimated 82,000 Dutch people between the ages of 18 and 64 are addicted to alcohol.
Source: Geralt, Pixabay
Alcohol abuse
If the use of alcohol leads to problems for the person or those around him, this is referred to as alcohol abuse. There are different definitions when alcohol consumption is considered excessive. The following classification is used in the National Drug Monitor (NDM; Verdurmen et al., 2003):
- Moderate drinking: women who drink a maximum of 14 and men a maximum of 21 glasses of alcohol per week, without two or more consecutive days on which women drink more than five and men more than six glasses of alcohol per day.
- Excessive drinking (NDM: regular drinking): women who drink 15-35 and men who drink 22-50 drinks per week.
- Excessive drinking (NDM: heavy drinking): women who drink more than 35 and men who drink more than fifty drinks per week.
Alcohol addiction
Alcohol addiction is the dependence on alcohol. It may involve mental and/or physical addiction, which may also involve social problems due to alcohol use. Signs of addiction may include the following signals:
- 1 or 2 drinks are not enough.
- Physical problems.
- Drink to change your mood.
- Problems with others about drinking behavior.
- Promises or attempts to quit are not kept.
Alcohol and relationships
Excessive use of alcohol is a problem in many relationships. The severity of the alcohol problem is often not noticed in the beginning of the relationship, mainly because alcohol is socially accepted. The partner who uses alcohol does not experience the problem himself or to a much lesser extent than the other. Drinking affects the insight into one’s own functioning and memory functions less during periods of drinking too much. Afterwards, the drinker only knows to a limited extent what his behavior was like during drinking. In addition, there is dependence on the use of alcohol. Alcohol addiction weakens the seriousness of one’s own behavior, especially out of fear of having to reduce or stop drinking. Open drinking can turn into secret drinking when the problem drinker is confronted with his drinking. Women drink almost as much as men, but drinking women are less accepted. Women therefore drink alcohol more often in secret.
Partner
Partners of people with an alcohol problem often cover the situation with the cloak of love for a long time. Periods of understanding, powerlessness and despondency alternate. Sometimes there are feelings of guilt about the partner’s drinking because he or she pretends that he or she drinks so much because of relationship problems. It may even seem like the non-drinker is the one with the problem. To the outside world, the non-drinker does not want the other person to lose weight and alcohol consumption is justified. Periods of excessive alcohol consumption can alternate with periods in which the partner drinks less. It is then extra difficult to deal with the other person’s behavior, because the situation and behavior varies greatly.
To assure
When alcohol use is problematic, the non-drinking partner often takes care of the other. Caring happens during alcohol abuse: by making sure that the other person does not injure himself, gets home safely and reduces any aggression. Even the day after excessive alcohol consumption, the partner will often take on a caring role by providing painkillers, reporting the other person sick and understanding the unpleasant situation. By hiding the situation from the outside world, the silent covenant is strengthened. Over time, a situation may arise where the non-drinking partner becomes fed up with alcohol abuse and its unpleasant consequences. The role of rescuer can change into a role in which drinking is no longer accepted.
Change
People in the immediate vicinity are particularly affected by the drinker’s alcohol consumption. Sometimes the non-drinking partner demands that the other person stop drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. The person with an alcohol problem can adapt to this, but it is necessary that there is insight into the need for change. If stopping alcohol abuse is done only for the other person, without recognizing or addressing the addiction problem, a relapse will eventually occur. Alcohol consumption is then temporarily or only apparently reduced or stopped.
Tips for dealing with alcoholism
The following tips can help you deal with alcohol abuse in your area:
- Leave the responsibility for the drinker’s problem on the drinker. The person who drinks is responsible for solving his/her problems.
- Do not take away the negative consequences from the drinker, as long as this happens the other person does not have to change anything and there is no reason to reduce drinking.
- Set your own boundaries and stick to them. A drinker will try to push boundaries because of the need for alcohol.
- You deserve respect from the other person, even if he or she has been drinking.
- Start a conversation with the other person, indicate what bothers you and what you expect from the other person with regard to drinking behavior.
- Seek help in time, confide in someone about the problems you encounter.
Source: Anamix, Wikimedia Commons (CC BY-SA-4.0)
Help with alcoholism
Quitting an alcohol addiction is often not possible without help from others due to the addictive effect of alcohol. The effect on the brain is comparable to the effect of hard drugs, such as heroin and cocaine. The GP is a confidential counselor with whom the problem can be discussed. General practitioners can provide support by referring you to the right help and they can inventory the medical situation. Medicines can be prescribed to help you stop drinking. In addition to help from the GP, help from the Mental Health Service (GGZ) or admission to a drug rehabilitation clinic can be requested (after referral). Even with the right help, breaking free from alcohol addiction is a long and difficult process. After drinking has stopped, it often appears that serious damage has been done to relationships with partners, children and others. Trust is damaged for a long time or permanently. There are various self-help groups, including for partners and children of alcohol addicts.
Addiction and heredity
Heredity plays a role in the development of alcoholism. As the child of a parent with an (alcohol) addiction, there may be concerns about the risk of the child also becoming a problem drinker. There are several genes that make someone susceptible to becoming addicted. Genes responsible for the functioning of the reward center in the brain influence addiction sensitivity. Another gene ensures that you can tolerate alcohol without getting drunk quickly. This partially disables the brakes on drinking, which increases the risk of an alcohol problem. American research has shown that if one of the parents is an alcoholic, the chance of alcoholism in the children is 34%. If both parents are addicted to alcohol, the percentage of alcoholic children is 40%.
Addiction can often be prevented by being aware of one’s own susceptibility to addiction.
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- Alcohol and health
