Never better again! Your illness becomes a backpack that you always carry with you. One day it is bearable, the next day it is a heavy burden on your shoulders. Other days the backpack hinders your prospects for better moments. One can get a lot of support from these thoughts, because you are still the same, but now you are wearing a backpack. The core of my article is: Even with a chronic illness you can make something of your life. It may not be as easy for you as someone without an illness, but it is more complicated because of all the limitations that the illness brings.
Processing that you have lost something important
The first step is to process that you have lost something important, part of your health. You will encounter a number of things that you can no longer do due to your illness, so you become aware that it changes your life. This releases all kinds of emotions in you, such as anger, sadness, frustration and powerlessness. The way you experience the illness at that moment also influences your behavior. You can think that people accept you with your illness and go out (active) or you think that people think you are strange and stay at home (passive).
Only after this can you look at a way that makes it bearable for you to deal with the disease. It is easy to accept that after a bad time a good time comes, but otherwise it is very difficult. Acceptance does not mean that you give up (passively). On the contrary, acceptance means that you acquire a new perspective on life at your own pace, namely that of a chronically ill person. Acceptance of being ill is a prerequisite for going through life with peace of mind and undertaking new things. Time and again you are asked to face what is going on. By accepting your illness you will get through it without it affecting your self-esteem.
Bearing the burden of a chronic illness
Unfortunately, not everyone is strong enough to bear the burden of a chronic illness. This is noticeable in both your mood and your behavior. When you are constantly gloomy, anxious, frustrated, angry or sad and these moods start to determine your life, it is clear that you are not strong enough to adapt to the new situation. Don’t be afraid to ask your parents or your doctor for help. When people start to avoid many things, which disrupts life considerably, you get the feeling that you are constantly coming up against your limitations. It is important to look at things you can do with your limitations and to replace old hobbies with new ones if necessary. If your behavior remains disturbed for a long time, ask for help.
Remain in charge of your own situation
Do you want to try to make something of it? Then it is important to remain in charge of your own situation. Sometimes the disease seems to be in control of you, but remember that there is always room to be in charge yourself. If you can no longer pursue your hobbies due to your illness, look for things you can do and be resourceful. Even if you have limitations, there are always hobbies that you can pursue. It is also important that you don’t avoid things. If you avoid it too often, it becomes increasingly difficult to do those things again. Make sure you can clearly explain the complaints and consequences to others. Then it will be easier for them to understand this. Always stay positive about this, because even though there are people who think you are strange, there are also people who DO understand!
Where does your partner stand in this whole story?
A lot changes for your partner too and life suddenly looks different. The danger for the partner of someone with a chronic illness is that the partner loses himself in the other. Just do and help, work hard, but forget that sitting down for a while is also a moment that you can share together. And for many chronically ill people, this moment is very important.
