Sexual abuse is a serious crime and often causes great harm to the victim. The consequences of sexual abuse depend on a number of factors.
Frequency of the abuse
The severity of the consequences depends on the frequency with which the abuse occurred. Some victims are abused once, while other victims endure a long suffering of years during which they are sexually abused. The longer the abuse lasts, the greater the risk that the person will experience long-term consequences of the abuse. But a one-off experience with sexual abuse can also cause serious damage.
Severity of the sexual abuse
The consequences of sexual abuse also depend on the severity of the abuse. People who have had to deal with unwanted touching often experience fewer complaints than people who have experienced unwanted penetration.
Who was the perpetrator
In addition, the consequences of the sexual abuse depend on who the perpetrator was. In general, the consequences are more serious if the perpetrator was a confidante of the victim. For example, if a child has been abused by its father or mother, the consequences are often worse than if there has been sexual abuse by an outsider. This is because the child is dependent on its father and/or mother to grow up. In addition, children are often extremely loyal to their parents. At the same time, this also eliminates the chance that a child will be lovingly cared for by his or her parents after an experience with sexual abuse.
Age at which the abuse started
The younger the person on whom the sexual abuse occurred, the more serious the consequences. If you experience your first sexual abuse experience at an older age, you have often already had other positive experiences. You have more positive baggage in your backpack, so to speak. This does not apply to people who were abused at a young age. They need to build on those negative experience(s).
How was the victim received?
After sexual abuse has occurred, it is essential to limit the damage how the victim was cared for. For example, if there are parents, other family members or friends who can comfort, listen to and help the victim, this can limit the consequences. However, it is often the case that sexual abuse remains a secret between perpetrator and victim. Out of shame and fear, victims often do not dare to speak about the suffering suffered. It is often difficult for outsiders to understand that people are ashamed of what happened, because in their eyes it is so clear who was at fault. However, it is human, but especially childish, to blame oneself.
Personal characteristics
In fact, everyone who has experienced sexual abuse has had some sense of safety diminished. One person will be able to deal with this more resiliently than the other person.
What to do as a bystander
Let them know that you are there for that person, but don’t force someone to talk. Respect everything that person feels, even if you can’t imagine those feelings yourself. Sometimes a person will need distraction, sometimes some distance. Above all, look and listen to what the person needs. And above all: respect his or her boundaries, after all, they have already been exceeded at least once too many times.
