Butterflies in your stomach. Not being able to think about anything other than that one person. The feeling of pleasant tension and uncertainty when you are near him or her. Not being able to take your eyes off him or her. A brief look into each other’s eyes can completely throw you off. A yearning desire to be close to this person. You can’t get a bite down your throat. You are bursting with energy and you feel like you can take on the world… You are head over heels in love! It’s a wonderful feeling. For some people, this feeling of falling in love turns into a true obsession. They can no longer do without the thrill and excitement that falling in love brings. They are addicted to love.
The scientific explanation of falling in love
When you are in love, various hormones and neurotransmitters such as phenylethylamine, norepinephrine, adrenaline, endorphins, dopamine and oxytocin are produced in the brain as soon as you see the person you are in love with. These substances provide a euphoric feeling and are highly addictive. Just looking at another person or even his or her appearance can be enough to initiate this process. So falling in love happens to you, you can’t do anything about it. However, you do have the choice whether to nourish or avoid a budding crush.
In love with being in love
When someone is addicted to love, he is in fact in love with being in love. As soon as his feeling of being in love with one person diminishes or disappears, he will look for another person to experience that same rush that you get when you are hopelessly in love. He will also try to seduce unattainable people and see this as a challenge. Thoughts and fantasies play an important role in creating and maintaining a feeling of love, as long as the attempt at seduction or seduction has not yet been successful.
Heartbreak = Withdrawal
As strange as it may sound to you, heartbreak is withdrawal. Scientific research has shown that the feeling of heartbreak stimulates the same parts of the brain as someone who is trying to kick the habit of cocaine. This partly explains why the feelings and behavior of the heartbroken person are so difficult to control. It also explains why a love addict looks for a potential new love as quickly as possible when attempts to seduce a person he has in mind are likely to fail.
Love addiction and sex addiction
Love addiction and sex addiction often go hand in hand; there is a fine line between these two forms of addiction. The similarities between these addictions include:
- Constantly looking for confirmation
- Addictive hormones and neurotransmitters are produced in the brain
- Low self-esteem
- Many people with this addiction were neglected by their parents as children
- Seeking attention
It is therefore not surprising that these two addictions often occur together. When you know that the person you are in love with is also in love with you, the step towards sex is easy.
Adverse consequences for a love addict
As with any addiction, the person in question is completely preoccupied with his or her addiction; it is the highest, if not the only, priority. Other things such as family, work and deeper contacts/friendships completely fade into the background. Sooner or later, this person’s life will only revolve around love and/or sex. When you are an addict in a steady relationship, it brings a lot of stress. After all, you have to keep everything hidden from your partner and before you know it, you become entangled in a web of lies and deception.
Help with a love addiction
One person is more susceptible to addiction than the other. This is partly genetically determined. There’s no need to blame yourself for being addicted; addiction is a brain disease. You don’t blame someone else if they get sick, do you? If you suspect that you are suffering from a love addiction, seek help. This addiction is just as serious as, for example, a drug or alcohol addiction. It will not go away on its own and it will eventually have destructive consequences for yourself, your life and the people around you.
