A broken relationship hurts. Especially when you’re not the one who ended the relationship. If you still love your ex dearly, you are willing to do anything to get him or her back. No matter how hopeless the situation seems right now, there are ways to get a second chance with your ex.
The end of the relationship
Maybe you saw it coming or you didn’t see it coming at all: your partner is breaking off the relationship. The way someone ends a relationship varies considerably. For example, during a good conversation it may be explained why he or she wants to end the relationship, but it also happens all too often that someone is dumped through a lame message and without further explanation.
Love sickness
When your relationship breaks up, it brings with it a wave of emotions. You’re in love. The person you love so much and shared so much with has left you. You feel angry, sad and desperate. You will do anything to get your ex back. You no longer know what to do with yourself and only want one thing: your ex back. It is important to let your emotions flow and express them. Heartbreak can also manifest itself in various mental and physical complaints:
Mental Symptoms:
- Only able to cry.
- Often think back to the beautiful moments you have experienced.
- Don’t feel like doing anything.
- Listen to a lot of love songs.
- Start stalking your ex.
Physical symptoms:
- Not being able to eat anymore.
- Just eat a lot.
- Can’t sleep anymore.
- Lethargy.
- Stomach ache.
- Nausea.
- Fatigue.
- Headache.
Getting your ex back
Before you start working on getting your ex back, first ask yourself whether you really want your ex back. Make a list of his or her good and bad qualities. Also consider whether you often argued or whether you had a lot of fun moments. It may be that you don’t miss your ex, but just someone around you. It’s all too common for people to settle for someone because they’re afraid of being alone or never meeting another love again. If you want to make sure you want your ex back, there are a number of ways that can help you.
Acceptance
No matter how hard it is, accept that your relationship is over. This is not easy, but if you want to get your ex back this is very important. Realize that from now on you are single and so is your ex. You have now each gone your own way.
Contact
Whether you broke up with an argument or as friends, it is important to make little or no contact with your ex, especially in the first period. If there is an argument involved and your ex is very angry and says he never wants to speak to you again, do not contact him on your own. Continue this for at least three weeks. This is very difficult, but when you bombard your ex with text messages, apps or emails, this can come across as desperate and controlling, which will only push you away from your ex further. If you give him or her the peace and time he or she needs, there is a good chance that he or she will wonder why you don’t contact us. Your ex also wonders whether you miss him or her. This way you give your ex the opportunity to start missing you and think everything over. There is a good chance that your ex will contact you after a while to ask how you are doing. If this does not happen, you can send a light-hearted and friendly message after a few weeks. If you still have questions and would like certain matters to be discussed, there is a good chance that your ex will agree to this.
Emotions
Don’t show your ex how sorry you are that your relationship is over. Giving your emotions free rein is very good to process the grief, but if you want to get your ex back it is important not to show too many emotions. Pretend that you are dealing with it very well and that you accept that it is over. If you still have occasional contact with your ex, be light-hearted about the situation. Pretend that you too think that ending the relationship was a good choice. Also, try not to act jealous when you see your ex flirting with someone else. This is of course very difficult because you want nothing more than to be together with your ex again, but for the moment this is really the best. It is also tempting to want to convince your ex again and again that he or she made the wrong choice by ending your relationship. This is a logical response to your feelings, but you will achieve more if you don’t do this. If you keep checking, calling, texting or emailing your ex, this can quickly come across as stalking, which can result in your ex completely ignoring you and never wanting to see you again.
Confident
The best way to get your ex back is to be confident. By radiating self-confidence, your ex will realize what he or she is missing. Make sure you look well groomed and, no matter how hard it is, try to keep smiling. Someone who is cheerful simply attracts more attention than someone who looks gloomy and sad. By doing your own thing and enjoying life to the fullest, you radiate self-confidence. There is a good chance that you will make your ex curious about your new life without him.
Closing
Does your ex not want to continue with your relationship after all your attempts to get him or her back? Then there is only one option and that is to accept that you will never get together again. This causes a lot of pain and sadness. Please take the time to process this loss and express your emotions. Heartbreak is something that everyone has to deal with in their lives. And no matter how hopeless the situation seems at the moment, you will definitely meet a new love. Please give it time.
read more
- Dealing with heartbreak
- Common mistakes in a relationship
